Mediocre Celebrations: To Have It or Not To Have It...

I hate it when I’m at an event that is less than average-ly organized. Be it a wedding ceremony, b-day party, reunion or simply a dinner party. I just can’t stand it. And I always think of the money spent even on that crappy event. Not to mention the effort and the sleepless nights the hosts had while thinking about that special day.

But even though the event host tries his/her best to make everything perfect, it’s just sad to see how a centerpiece of dead flowers, tasteless food served or even the waiters’ ignorance can simply kill the whole event. It is usually not taken into account, how one small detail can ruin the whole thing, but believe me, it literally does – at least through the eyes of the ones that pay attention to small details. And I assure you, there’s at least one of them (like me) at each of these parties.

So I couldn’t help but think of the possible precautions that might help prevent your party turn into a wreckage:

1. Rehearse it: Just rehearse the whole ceremony, even if it feels difficult. If it’s a wedding, at least join the previous weddings at the same venue and pay attention to what small negative stuff you see, even take notes to improve at least yours.

2. Always get involved: Remember, it’s your party, it represents you. All the fingers will point at you if the party ends up as a mess. So never delegate important stuff to anyone. No matter how small the detail is, always be in charge even though it’s tiresome. After all, small details are the ones that can make a ceremony either perfect or a shit-show.

3. Keep it small: Don't spend all of your money on a crappy ceremony, just because you want it to be on a large scale. Remember, the larger the ceremony, the worse. It will get even worse with a vast audience, simply because it eventually turns into mass production. The food will start to lose its taste, the waiters will suck while struggling to meet all the requests and at least, there will be much more noise. Keep your guest list short. Cut out the people you don't know well. You don't need to invite your elementary school pal as long as you don't hear from them for the past two years. Even though you’re adored by people, your parties are très en vogue, make sure there are real family and/or friends on that special day. The more boutique the event, the more elite.

4. Forget the tasteless food, keep the alcohol coming: Loose the main course if you think it will suck. It doesn't have to be a dinner party if you think you cannot afford the tasty food or if you simply don't think what the venue or the caterer will provide will be tasty. If you can’t afford the salmon-risotto combination and think that the chicken will be tasteless, just make it a drink party. Remember, you don't have to feed everyone. It’s a celebration, not a charity event. As long as there’s liqueur involved, people will enjoy it very much. Think about it, the people will even start drinking earlier with no entrée, main course, etc. So they’ll end up entertaining even earlier. Just make sure there’s bowls of snacks on the stands. You don't want your party to turn into a puke-show.

5. Good music covers bad stuff: If you don't have the budget or simply the opportunity to get a live band on the stage, than get a DJ. It might even be some of your friends who can press the play button. But make sure you prepare the whole playlist. There’s nothing more frustrating than hearing an out-of-concept song playing during the ceremony. Ensure all the songs fit the whole concept and do never let the DJ improvise.

6. Always have a plan B: As dear Alanis Morissette had said, it is ironic when there’s rain on your wedding day. It is the same for all outdoor events. So always ask the venue to have an indoor option in case of storm/rain. You don't want to postpone your event the last minute or turn your invitees into rats under the rain. Remember, they’d go to a spa if they wanted a muddy treatment. Or, if the outdoor space has the possibility of having cold climate at night, then make sure shawls or outdoor heaters are provided. You don't want to see your guests congratulate you with their trembling jaws.

Well, I just shared with you what I think of the events that are badly organized, or well organized but paid less attention to small details and eventually turned into a bad one. So I want everyone to think of these special days as special as possible. It is never easy to organize a party. You want everything to be impeccable, okay, but please don't forget the perfection lies beneath the teeny-tiny details. This way, you will prevent people from coming to your party reluctantly and from suffering during those couple of hours.


(The list is open to your comments; your recommendations on how to avoid ruin a party during the organization process are highly appreciated.)

Travelling: Discovering New Places, Meeting New People & Touching New Lives

I love travelling (who doesn’t?). Even though the “getting there” part is principally painful, I still love discovering places, tasting new cuisines and experiencing different cultures.
But even better than that, I think meeting with new people is priceless. Listening to life stories much more or little bit different than mine… That was again what happened when we had some international friends here for the weekend. These were different individuals from different countries in Europe and Middle East… They were all great people with different cultures and different life experiences. At first sight, we might have looked similar, all well-educated, well-travelled modern young people but in fact we were all different than each other and that is what makes it even more interesting and even fascinating. Of course we all had great time and we all embarked on a mutual base without paying attention to what differences we might have.

The other day, I was talking to my parents about my new friends and my mom, all of a sudden, said that how grateful I should be that I meet different people from all around the world and hence I got to know of different lives… And what she said was so true that it made me think (and even write here) about it. Whenever I speak to a foreigner, whether I’m aware or not, I end up collecting new life experiences... I feel like I am touching the lives of people that I didn’t even know they existed. I somehow meet these people and I realize how different lives exist and, like she said, I should be grateful for that – which I totally am. After all, as a young person, so far I’ve had the opportunity to know these lives and broaden my perspective with all that.

And these experiences don’t have to be full of joy and laughter every time… Just like life’s ingredients, it may involve witnessing to different and sad lives as well… Such as one day in the U.S. I was waiting for a never-arriving cab and it took me an hour standing right in front of a store until these nice black ladies offered me a ride. If I hadn’t accepted their offer, I would probably have never learnt that there were people who earn money by just babysitting and spend it extravagantly at night clubs of chic hotels. Or, maybe I wouldn't have known that the stripper mother of the kid in the car that those ladies were babysitting, had been evicted and had to live in a motel and was able to see her brain disordered son only once every 2 months, if those ladies hadn’t stopped by her motel before mine… If I had not travelled to the US and waited for a taxi in the middle of nowhere, I wouldn't have seen the sadness in that mother’s eyes, as she held her son. And I would have never seen in her face how unprepared she were when she gave birth to him and maybe thought how unfair life can be to her when she got evicted…

After what my mom said, I remembered the author I love very much, who said something very important during a TV interview. The journalist had asked her what reasons she can give to youngsters in order to urge them read books: “Why do we need to read books?” Her response was so simple but at the same time so true that I kept on smiling for minutes as she spoke… “We need to read books, in order to beware of different lives somewhere in the world. Even if we don’t know those people, we can understand what may come up in the future and we can get prepared for that. Or at least, knowing other lives enriches our minds and lives.”

This felt so true that when my mom said the same thing about meeting people, I realized that it’s no different than reading books (especially novels) and learning different lives through books. It’s just listening to or observing other’s life experiences in person, and this way it’s even less virtual: it’s real; it’s totally “live”. Just like the books help us gain perspective, I strongly believe that meeting new people enriches our lives the same way.

So I found it again very meaningful to have met these new friends. I just hope that I can always have this opportunity of meeting new people and even continuing to be in touch with them…

It’s like reading “people” instead of reading through pages. More concrete, more flesh-bone kind of real and I hope to continue “reading” people…

To all whom I encountered so far: Thank you for spicing up my life and chipping in with your stories. By donating your stories, you help me grow up and turn me into the person who I am.

And to all who are on the “encounter waitlist”: Patience… We’ll meet someday, but first we have to wait for the right time and the right place…

Why I Didn’t Write Here Lately

In fact I wanted to. I just regret not being able to write it but I figured out that I have to write it on a piece of paper or take notes the minute I feel like writing about something. If I postpone writing it, and decide to write it directly on the blog for the first time, then it disappears.

I have to write it down before the daemon leaves me and takes all my inspiration…

I did that mistake, so I couldn't post anything for a while; but I won’t do it again. My black notebook is right by my bed and always in my bag with me for the moments I want to take notes of my future blog posts. I hope reading them is as much enjoyable to you as it is to me while writing…

Cheers!

A Slap in the Face for Mankind: Funerals

I have just returned from the funeral of a close friend’s father-in-law and couldn’t help but noticed that how frequently we friends started to meet at two kinds of events that are completely opposite to each other, lately:

1- Weddings

2- Funerals

Weddings became more like a usual event lately, as our generation heads towards the age 30. Of course it is normal as most of the people plan to get married before they turn 30. And I can understand that, but still it is interesting that we, as a love-to-hang-out youth, used to hang out solely and those were the main occasions we used to see each other--always in amusement.

I don't want to sound like I am trying to say weddings are boring, they are also fun but still, they involve seriousness as well, considering the whole marrying process is something serious. Deciding to live with someone, sharing almost all the stages of life, etc. Who can claim that this is not serious? I, personally do not find myself mature enough to do that right now, for instance. Not yet.

Secondly, funerals became so frequent than ever lately, it’s also because of the unbearable truth that we have grown up. As we grow, our parents grow older, and first our grandparents and then parents will end up deceased eventually. This also makes me feel creepy. Today it was so weird to see my friends feeling literally “alone” maybe for the first time in this world. We can always claim that we feel lonely every now and then, even when we do not have a girlfriend/boyfriend we complain about feeling “lonely”. But we never think what a great loneliness it could be, when we lose our most beloved ones. I literally saw this loneliness on my friends’ faces today at the funeral. They used to be 4 (members) in their family, now they’re 3 but it was strange that they all felt like they were 1 today. It seemed like the world’s gone empty for the day. I only hope that they will start to get used to it in days, I know they will. Lots of people did, so they will find a way. People always find a way.

We have this saying “time heals everything” and I strongly believe that. Maybe it does not erase all the scars that life left on us but it certainly “heals” a lot of things…

The best wish I heard today at the funeral meant different to me. As I thought about all these, it occurred to me that this simple wish was more meaningful than ever:

“We’ll see each other soon, hopefully at better events”…

Hopefully.

Finally Reaching the Finale of the Book: Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol"

Finally I have finished reading my book, after a couple of months of trying to find some time to read the latest book of Dan Brown (not “newly released” anymore; it’s already gone old): The Lost Symbol.
It of course gave me the taste of Dan Brown’s other classics such as Angels&Demons and the DaVinci Code. But I think because of having gotten used to his style, sometimes I have sensed what was to come on the following pages. But without contestation it was yet exciting and fluent enough for the reader to resist the sleep late night in bed. And I must admit that the ending was pretty surprising this time. However, after the big surprise is revealed, Dan Brown has still yet to tell and I personally did not feel that much of excitement while reading those after the great revelation. It's not like it is unimportant stuff that he's telling after the surprise, but it's simply because that the secret unveiled has so much effect that you feel like, nothing would ever surprise you anymore.
I can recommend you to read it (if you haven’t done so), it’s simply about Masons and a wealthy family with the highest degree among Masons. Personally, I have always wondered about Masons about what they do and what kind of decisions they take during their meetings and what kind of actions they take right after. As a Rotaractor, I always encounter people who tend to mix our clubs with Masons and they blame us being the slaves of the US. It always surprises me to see how skeptic people can be and how their imagination works, especially about the things they do not know! They literally blame something they barely know, by mixing it up with something they do not know at all… It is really what makes me laugh!
Anyway, as I said, the book is mainly on Masons. It caught my attention because of this, foremost. I have always wondered them and searching on the Internet does not provide me with the information I need. This book gives you the details you want to know or do not want to know-all of them together. So I am at least happy that I have learnt something about this always-kept-as-a-secret topic. I bet Dan Brown made Masons upset this time!

Of course, in this book, our hero Robert Langdon almost dies –as always- and somehow nails it and comes back to the real world. But still he is described in such a positive way, you feel reluctant to stop liking him and trusting him.

One thing I always have after reading a book: I never remember the characters’ names! It’s a total blank when it comes to the names. I read a book of 500 pages and the main character is probably mentioned in the book with his name more than 300-400 times and I cannot remember the name after reading the book. I am not talking about months later by “after” it’s simply the following day! BLANK. This book has the advantage of using the same character as the previous ones (Robert Langdon) and other characters’ names are also easy to remember: Katherine, Peter, etc. (I hope I remember them right).
The worse thing is I have the same habitude of not remembering people’s names in real life as well! Whenever I am introduced to someone, I am so obsessed with how my name sounds as I say it that I never listen to the other person’s name! How silly is that! It’s totally difficult not memorizing people’s names; I always end up trying to grab a business card or trying to see his initials on his cufflinks. I feel myself lucky when there’s a badge around his neck with his name on it!

Slaves of the Monetary System

I can't help but think how different it would be if we were not stuck at the offices for hours but did our own stuff for a couple of hours instead. I mean a couple of hours during which we fully concentrate on what we do.

I had watched this virally-marketed movie called "Zeitgeist" (which I strongly recommend all of you) which also included this idea, in a different way. In the movie, it was claimed that if everyone on earth stopped being a part of this monetary system and dedicated himself to scientific Research&Development and to improve the world, everything would have been extremely different.

I mean they pay you to stay at the office for 9 hours in front of a computer and how many of you work literally 9 hours? Let us substract 1 hour of lunch break and an additional hour for other personal needs (lavatory-smoking-coffee break, etc.) that makes 7 hours. How many of you work for 7 hours? I mean literally 7 hours!? It is not possible. If only we were doing our things for 3-4 hours a day and literally work for those hours. I'm sure we would have been much more motivated in what we are doing, by knowing we woud have been free as a bird after a couple of hours and do whatever we want to do afterwards.

Sometimes I feel like I am trapped, in a coffin or something like that. And still, even I spend so many hours in the office, I sometimes feel like I cannot use my whole potential. I love my job, I really do but let's face it, without contestation, no one can work for 7 hours without getting distracted.

I don't know who created this system (Adam Smith?) or maybe the real question is "Who adopted this system?" Because everyday new things are being created or invented but it is up to us whether to accept and adopt it or not. So we can put the blame on the people who adopted this system instead of making the inventor the scapegoat. But what I know is, mankind should do something one step ahead instead of doing regular stuff. I know one day I will, I know that faith will somehow play its part and show me the way to do something different, a lot more different than I have been doing, and maybe different than that of lots of people are doing. I do not want to let things find their ways in the hands of "faith", I will also probably play my part to change things but on the other hand I strongly believe that all the conditions must be in place for me to take action. The change should be made in the right place, right time. I have to be ready for this, even the people around me should be ready for this, that's why faith is needed here. It has to help us evolve and get ready to what is to happen.

The whole process is linked to each other. Maybe me writing here is a part of it. Maybe it was faith that prepared these conditions...

I assure you that I will write it here if one day I start doing something very different than I do now. Wait, maybe I won't even have to, maybe you will hear my accomplishments anyway...

Things Observed While Travelling: Dubai

I spent my weekend in Dubai, UAE before which I thought 2 days would not be sufficient but at the end I was convinced that it was already sufficient.

First of all, there's not that much to see. Considering Dubai is settled in the middle of a desert, it is not that surprising to realize that there's little to see.The most amazing thing is to see what you can achieve with extreme amount of money. These guys build (or have Euorpeans-Americans build) islands on the sea, lakes in the middle of the desert... It's like they love challenging the nature! They also love to be remembered by "superlatives": the tallest building in the world, the largest duty free in the world, etc.

Other than that, there's not that much to do. If I were to stay one more day, I would have layed at the beach or probably left Dubai and go see Abu Dhabi.So if you are planning on going there, keep it short unless you love to lay under sun for days.Additionally, I have never visited this much and this big shopping malls at a time! Unlike most of the men, I don't hate shopping but even for me, this was too much! Since it's extremely hot outside, you tend to spend time indoor, consequently inside the malls. But they are so big and so exhausting that you cannot do anything else after leaving them.

Besides, Dubai has nothing to do with being "cheap", it is extremely expensive. Even the worldwide chain brands scam, by selling their products more expensive than worldwide quotations. So in terms of shopping, it is a bit dissapointing. I heard that they raised the prices after the turmoil.

To sum up, being stuck at a mall and not being able to buy anything (because you know you're getting scammed) is lame!I visited this Outlet Mall called Dubai Outlet Mall, a little bit outside the city center, and it sucked! It has nothing to do with the ones in the US or even in Europe. After a whole day digging, I managed to buy a shirt, a shirt only!The only cheap thing is electronics. If you need something and you are planning on going to Dubai, wait and buy it there. It's almost the half price. I bought this gorgeous digital camera half price.Anyway, if only Dubai-ans had something rather more related to their culture so that we could buy before going home, something other than chocolate coated dates or dates with almond. Because everything is made in asia or some other country than Dubai. It's like these guys produce nothing.

I can say that it is always good travelling on holidays so you can go see what Dubai literally is but you better keep your expectations low. The ads and commercials on Dubai might be misleading and exagerated.